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I was driving along with no real destination in mind, I just knew that I needed to be alone with my thoughts. When I realized that I was at First Beach it was really no suprise. I had been coming here everyday since I got the call that Jake had ranaway. I had, had hopes that just maybe he would come back one day while I was sitting here. I don't know why I missed him so much but I did and I probably missed him more than I really should. I couldn't help it though knowing that I had caused him pain enough to where he felt that he needed to get away. It hurt even more knowing that more than likely my best friend, my Sun in Forks wouldn't be here for my wedding tomorrow. I gently wiped at the tears that began to fall.
"Bella, what are you thinking," I said aloud to myself and rubbing at my nose.
I don't know why I was crying cause I knew that I shouldn't be. I was getting married tomorrow and I should be happy. Truly and honestly, I was happy in many ways. I love Edward with all my heart and I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. Yet, at the same time nothing felt right now that Jake was gone. The tears were still falling when I heard a branch break behind me. I got up and turned around to see what it was that I heard. At first glance I scanned the tree lines and saw nothing but the second time was when I saw something moving. It was then that what I saw and heard come out from the trees and I was completely taken aback. I couldn't believe my eyes could it really be Jake or was I just seeing things. Deep down I knew that I wasn't seeing things and that it was him even though he was a werewolf.
"Jake," I said, and relunctantly took a step towards him.
It was then that he disappeared into the woods again.
"Jake wait!" I said pleadingly.
Just as I was beginning to think that he was gone again he reappeared. This time he was in his human form. I could see in his face that he was still hurting and my heart went out to him.
"Bella, what are you doing here? I figured that you were probably working on last mintue wedding details." he asked.
"Alice was being Alice and I just needed some place to myself where I could be alone with my thoughts." I said and turned back around to sit back down where I was. It was a few minutes later when Jake came over and sat down next to me.
"I have been coming here everyday since your dad called and told me that you had ran off. For some reason I had hoped that one day while I was sitting here that you would come back." I said and turned to look at him.
Jake just sat there looking out at the water not knowing what to really say to her. He turned then to look at her and tried to smile but failed to make it.
"Bella I really don't know what to say and I'm sorry if I had you worried. You look as if you have been crying is something wrong?" he asked with a worried look on his face.
"Its nothing, its just that since you have been gone nothing has felt right to me anymore. I thought that you weren't coming back and I was hurt thinking how bad it would be not to have my best friend there tomorrow" I said, and saw him have a pained look on his face.
"Wait!" I said before he could say anything.
"You are going to come tomorrow aren't you Jake." I asked almost scared to know his answer. It was a few minutes later and Jake still hadn't said anythin. Then suddenly I saw Jacob begin to cry.
"Jacob talk to me please. Tell me that this sinking sensation that I'm feeling right now that you are fixing to tell me something really horrible is just because of my nerves." I asked almost on the verge of tears myself because, when he finally looked up at me it was then that I knew he was about to tell me something horrible.
"I'm so sorry Bella but I just can't come tomorrow. I can't watch you marry that Bloodsucker and be happy for you when I know what he is going to do to you. I really do wish that things could be different but they aren't, and they won't ever be. Bella I should be going I only came home to let the pack know that I was okay, and that I still needed a little more time to myself."
At that moment I realized that I was crying harder then I was before. It was also then that I realized that my Sun in Forks was leaving for good. I watched as Jake started to walk off and couldn't believe that I wouldn't see him again. I wiped at the tears that were still falling, with the back of my palm. It was when I looked back at Jacob that I saw he was a werewolf again and was walking back towards the trees.
"Jake, Wait!" I yelled, as my voice cracked.
I ran up to Jacob not caring that he was a werewolf and wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug.
"I love you Jake." I said and finally let him go relunctantly.
Jake just sat there for a moment looking at me and then turned around and walked off into the trees. I was still standing there a few minutes later when I heard a deep howl coming from somewhere far off in the woods.
Chapter 2 .
After sitting at First Beach a little longer I figured that it was time that I head back to Edward's house. It was getting dark, I was tired, and I knew that I needed to get back before they started to worry about me. On the drive back to the house I tried to gather my thoughts so no one would tell that anything was wrong. It was times like these that I was glad that Edward couldn't hear my thoughts. I felt bad that I was going to have to lie to him, but I knew that it was better off that he didn't know because, he would just get mad if he knew that I had talked to Jacob. As I pulled in the drive and shut off my truck, I sat there for a minute so I could have a little more time to myself. I was deep in thought thinking about how after tomorrow the Cullen's would be my new family, and as much as I was excited to be a part of their family, it terrified me also. It was during that thought that Edward must have came up to the driver's side of the truck. I didn't realize that he was there until I went to get out.
"Holy crow Edward, give me a heart attack why don't you." I said as I was getting out of my truck. I was about to head into the house when Edward grabbed me, and just embraced me in his arms for awhile. When he finally looked down at me it was then, that I saw the worried look on his face.
"Bella, where have you been? You had us all worried and when Alice couldn't see you, I-I was afraid something had happened to you." He said, as he took my face in his hands. "Bella, please next time that you go out just let me know where you are going so I won't worry like that again."
"I'm sorry Edward. I never meant for you to be worried it's just that things have been so stressful lately. I just wanted some time to myself where I could think through my thoughts, and be alone for a few hours." I said and felt horrible that he had worried so much while I was gone.
Edward still had his arm around me as we walked into the house. I was glad to see that the house was empty when we walked in, for I don't think I could handle them telling me they were worried about me. Since it was just me and Edward in the house I figured this would be a good time for just us to hang out. It seems like with everything going on lately, that we really haven't had much time with each other, but that was all going to change after tomorrow. I must of had a smile on my face cause Edward was looking at me funny.
"What are you thinking about?" he said, with a puzzled look on his face like he really wished that he could hear my thoughts.
I smiled at him and said, "I was just thinking about how lately we haven't really had much time to ourselves. And how after tomorrow all that will change and we will have all the time in the world." and by the look on his face I could tell that he still didn't fully approve of turning me, but he had promised me that he would. I went to sit next to him on the sofa in the living room. "Since we have time to ourselves how about we watch Romeo and Juliet."
"You mean you want to watch it again, you have seen it so many times already, don't you ever get tired of it?" he said gently, and kissed me on the forehead. Even though I knew that he really didn't want to watch it he put it in for me anyways. Edward came back to the sofa and sat next to me. I was kinda tired so I layed my head in his lap and watched the movie.Throughout the movie, he would mess with my hair, and rubbed the back of his palm across my cheek. I guess I ended up going to sleep cause the next thing I knew I was dreaming. I was dreaming about the meeting I had with Jake earlier but it was different.
Bella's Dream
It was a werewolf but I knew that it was Jacob.
"Jake wait!" I said pleadingly to him.
Then he was gone and I was beginning to think that it really wasn't him then suddenly he reappeared as the human Jacob.
"Bella, what are you doing here" he asked questioningly.
"I have been coming here everyday since your dad called and told me that you had ran off. For some reason I had hoped that one day while I was sitting here that you would come back." I said and turned to look at him.
"Bells, I don't know what to say I'm sorry that I had you worried. Is something worng though you look upset and why are you all the way out here." he said wondering.
"Its nothing, its just that since you have been gone nothing has felt right to me anymore. I thought that you weren't coming back and I was hurt thinking how bad it would be not to have my best friend there tomorrow" I said, and saw a distraught look play across his face. It was in that moment that I knew he was going to say something that I didn't want to hear.
"I'm so sorry Bella, but I just can't come tomorrow. I can't watch you marry that Bloodsucker and be happy for you when I know what he is going to do to you" he said, with so much force an anger that it scared me for a moment. It was then that I saw Jake begin to shake and I knew he was close to changing. I knew I had to watch myself because if Jacob changed I knew he would end up hurting me by accident. I backed away from him to give him a little room just in case.
"Jake calm down!" I exclaimed. I knew it was going to take a lot to calm him because I knew how much he hated Edward. But there wasn't much I could do to help him unless I wanted to get hurt. So I stood there hoping, praying, and waiting for him to settle down. Everything that happened next seem to happen so fast I almost didn't have time to comprehend what was really going on.
All of a sudden out of nowhere Edward shows up.
"Bella, Come on it's time to go home" I heard him say. I stood there shocked and I couldn't move. Edward glared at me willing me to move and finally I was able. It was then though that I realized that he had just broken the treaty by coming to First Beach. At that moment I turned around to look at Jake and he was already in his werewolf form.
"Jacob No!" I cried desperately. I knew then that he was thinking about killing Edward for breaking the treaty.
Why did Edward cross that stupid line I thought to myself. Of course I knew that if anything happend to either one of them it was all my fault. I shouldn't have come out here in the first place because if I hadn't then we wouldn't be in this situation. It was then that Edward pushed me out of the way and I feel to my knees. When I looked back up was when I saw Jacob take a jump at Edward.
"Edward! Jacob! Stop fighting!" I yelled at them even though I knew it was a hopeless cause. I knew they wouldn't stop until one of them was dead. I begun to sob uncontrollably and I buried my face in my hands. I couldn't bear to watch them knowing that one of them would inevitably die and I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening. I could still hear them going at it minutes later and I thought I was going to die from the whole that was beginning to form in my chest at the loss I was going to have to bear after this was over.
The noises they had made fighting had stopped and I wiped at the wet tears that had fallen down my cheeks with the palm of my hand. As I looked up Edward was standing there in front of me. For some reason a wave of relief washed over me to see that he was okay. But that was when it struck me about Jacob. Where was he? Was he still alive? I looked around for him and couldn't find him. It was when I looked near the grass by the tree line that I saw Jacob. He was still in his werewolf form but even from where I was I knew that he was gone. I got up and ran to where Jake layed and dropped to my knees. Even though I knew that he was to heavy I tired to put his head in my lap. The tears began to fall again and this time they felt like they wouldn't ever stop. I didn't want to leave him but Edward had been trying to pull me away from him. I leaned down to Jake and kissed him on the nose one last time.
"I Love You Jacob," I whispered softly in his ear.
I woke up startled to find myself alone.
sad
sleepy
loved
crazy
bouncy
indescribable
cold
confused
hyper