ashie88

My first Fanfiction

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 02:02:47 GMT

I was driving along with no real destination in mind, I just knew that I needed to be alone with my thoughts. When I realized that I was at First Beach it was really no suprise. I had been coming here everyday since I got the call that Jake had ranaway. I had, had hopes that just maybe he would come back one day while I was sitting here. I don't know why I missed him so much but I did and I probably missed him more than I really should. I couldn't help it though knowing that I had caused him pain enough to where he felt that he needed to get away. It hurt even more knowing that more than likely my best friend, my Sun in Forks wouldn't be here for my wedding tomorrow. I gently wiped at the tears that began to fall.

"Bella, what are you thinking," I said aloud to myself and rubbing at my nose.

I don't know why I was crying cause I knew that I shouldn't be. I was getting married tomorrow and I should be happy. Truly and honestly, I was happy in many ways. I love Edward with all my heart and I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. Yet, at the same time nothing felt right now that Jake was gone. The tears were still falling when I heard a branch break behind me. I got up and turned around to see what it was that I heard. At first glance I scanned the tree lines and saw nothing but the second time was when I saw something moving. It was then that what I saw and heard come out from the trees and I was completely taken aback. I couldn't believe my eyes could it really be Jake or was I just seeing things. Deep down I knew that I wasn't seeing things and that it was him even though he was a werewolf.

"Jake," I said, and relunctantly took a step towards him.

It was then that he disappeared into the woods again.

"Jake wait!" I said pleadingly.

Just as I was beginning to think that he was gone again he reappeared. This time he was in his human form. I could see in his face that he was still hurting and my heart went out to him.

"Bella, what are you doing here? I figured that you were probably working on last mintue wedding details." he asked.

"Alice was being Alice and I just needed some place to myself where I could be alone with my thoughts." I said and turned back around to sit back down where I was. It was a few minutes later when Jake came over and sat down next to me.

"I have been coming here everyday since your dad called and told me that you had ran off. For some reason I had hoped that one day while I was sitting here that you would come back." I said and turned to look at him.

Jake just sat there looking out at the water not knowing what to really say to her. He turned then to look at her and tried to smile but failed to make it.

"Bella I really don't know what to say and I'm sorry if I had you worried. You look as if you have been crying is something wrong?" he asked with a worried look on his face.

"Its nothing, its just that since you have been gone nothing has felt right to me anymore. I thought that you weren't coming back and I was hurt thinking how bad it would be not to have my best friend there tomorrow" I said, and saw him have a pained look on his face.

"Wait!" I said before he could say anything.

"You are going to come tomorrow aren't you Jake." I asked almost scared to know his answer. It was a few minutes later and Jake still hadn't said anythin. Then suddenly I saw Jacob begin to cry.

"Jacob talk to me please. Tell me that this sinking sensation that I'm feeling right now that you are fixing to tell me something really horrible is just because of my nerves." I asked almost on the verge of tears myself because, when he finally looked up at me it was then that I knew he was about to tell me something horrible.

"I'm so sorry Bella but I just can't come tomorrow. I can't watch you marry that Bloodsucker and be happy for you when I know what he is going to do to you. I really do wish that things could be different but they aren't, and they won't ever be. Bella I should be going I only came home to let the pack know that I was okay, and that I still needed a little more time to myself."

At that moment I realized that I was crying harder then I was before. It was also then that I realized that my Sun in Forks was leaving for good. I watched as Jake started to walk off and couldn't believe that I wouldn't see him again. I wiped at the tears that were still falling, with the back of my palm. It was when I looked back at Jacob that I saw he was a werewolf again and was walking back towards the trees.

"Jake, Wait!" I yelled, as my voice cracked.

I ran up to Jacob not caring that he was a werewolf and wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug.

"I love you Jake." I said and finally let him go relunctantly.

Jake just sat there for a moment looking at me and then turned around and walked off into the trees. I was still standing there a few minutes later when I heard a deep howl coming from somewhere far off in the woods.

Chapter 2 .

After sitting at First Beach a little longer I figured that it was time that I head back to Edward's house. It was getting dark, I was tired, and I knew that I needed to get back before they started to worry about me. On the drive back to the house I tried to gather my thoughts so no one would tell that anything was wrong. It was times like these that I was glad that Edward couldn't hear my thoughts. I felt bad that I was going to have to lie to him, but I knew that it was better off that he didn't know because, he would just get mad if he knew that I had talked to Jacob. As I pulled in the drive and shut off my truck, I sat there for a minute so I could have a little more time to myself. I was deep in thought thinking about how after tomorrow the Cullen's would be my new family, and as much as I was excited to be a part of their family, it terrified me also. It was during that thought that Edward must have came up to the driver's side of the truck. I didn't realize that he was there until I went to get out.

"Holy crow Edward, give me a heart attack why don't you." I said as I was getting out of my truck. I was about to head into the house when Edward grabbed me, and just embraced me in his arms for awhile. When he finally looked down at me it was then, that I saw the worried look on his face.

"Bella, where have you been? You had us all worried and when Alice couldn't see you, I-I was afraid something had happened to you." He said, as he took my face in his hands. "Bella, please next time that you go out just let me know where you are going so I won't worry like that again."

"I'm sorry Edward. I never meant for you to be worried it's just that things have been so stressful lately. I just wanted some time to myself where I could think through my thoughts, and be alone for a few hours." I said and felt horrible that he had worried so much while I was gone.

Edward still had his arm around me as we walked into the house. I was glad to see that the house was empty when we walked in, for I don't think I could handle them telling me they were worried about me. Since it was just me and Edward in the house I figured this would be a good time for just us to hang out. It seems like with everything going on lately, that we really haven't had much time with each other, but that was all going to change after tomorrow. I must of had a smile on my face cause Edward was looking at me funny.

"What are you thinking about?" he said, with a puzzled look on his face like he really wished that he could hear my thoughts.

I smiled at him and said, "I was just thinking about how lately we haven't really had much time to ourselves. And how after tomorrow all that will change and we will have all the time in the world." and by the look on his face I could tell that he still didn't fully approve of turning me, but he had promised me that he would. I went to sit next to him on the sofa in the living room. "Since we have time to ourselves how about we watch Romeo and Juliet."

"You mean you want to watch it again, you have seen it so many times already, don't you ever get tired of it?" he said gently, and kissed me on the forehead. Even though I knew that he really didn't want to watch it he put it in for me anyways. Edward came back to the sofa and sat next to me. I was kinda tired so I layed my head in his lap and watched the movie.Throughout the movie, he would mess with my hair, and rubbed the back of his palm across my cheek. I guess I ended up going to sleep cause the next thing I knew I was dreaming. I was dreaming about the meeting I had with Jake earlier but it was different.

Bella's Dream

It was a werewolf but I knew that it was Jacob.
"Jake wait!" I said pleadingly to him.
Then he was gone and I was beginning to think that it really wasn't him then suddenly he reappeared as the human Jacob.
"Bella, what are you doing here" he asked questioningly.
"I have been coming here everyday since your dad called and told me that you had ran off. For some reason I had hoped that one day while I was sitting here that you would come back." I said and turned to look at him.
"Bells, I don't know what to say I'm sorry that I had you worried. Is something worng though you look upset and why are you all the way out here." he said wondering.
"Its nothing, its just that since you have been gone nothing has felt right to me anymore. I thought that you weren't coming back and I was hurt thinking how bad it would be not to have my best friend there tomorrow" I said, and saw a distraught look play across his face. It was in that moment that I knew he was going to say something that I didn't want to hear.
"I'm so sorry Bella, but I just can't come tomorrow. I can't watch you marry that Bloodsucker and be happy for you when I know what he is going to do to you" he said, with so much force an anger that it scared me for a moment. It was then that I saw Jake begin to shake and I knew he was close to changing. I knew I had to watch myself because if Jacob changed I knew he would end up hurting me by accident. I backed away from him to give him a little room just in case.
"Jake calm down!" I exclaimed. I knew it was going to take a lot to calm him because I knew how much he hated Edward. But there wasn't much I could do to help him unless I wanted to get hurt. So I stood there hoping, praying, and waiting for him to settle down. Everything that happened next seem to happen so fast I almost didn't have time to comprehend what was really going on.
All of a sudden out of nowhere Edward shows up.
"Bella, Come on it's time to go home" I heard him say. I stood there shocked and I couldn't move. Edward glared at me willing me to move and finally I was able. It was then though that I realized that he had just broken the treaty by coming to First Beach. At that moment I turned around to look at Jake and he was already in his werewolf form.
"Jacob No!" I cried desperately. I knew then that he was thinking about killing Edward for breaking the treaty.
Why did Edward cross that stupid line I thought to myself. Of course I knew that if anything happend to either one of them it was all my fault. I shouldn't have come out here in the first place because if I hadn't then we wouldn't be in this situation. It was then that Edward pushed me out of the way and I feel to my knees. When I looked back up was when I saw Jacob take a jump at Edward.
"Edward! Jacob! Stop fighting!" I yelled at them even though I knew it was a hopeless cause. I knew they wouldn't stop until one of them was dead. I begun to sob uncontrollably and I buried my face in my hands. I couldn't bear to watch them knowing that one of them would inevitably die and I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening. I could still hear them going at it minutes later and I thought I was going to die from the whole that was beginning to form in my chest at the loss I was going to have to bear after this was over.
The noises they had made fighting had stopped and I wiped at the wet tears that had fallen down my cheeks with the palm of my hand. As I looked up Edward was standing there in front of me. For some reason a wave of relief washed over me to see that he was okay. But that was when it struck me about Jacob. Where was he? Was he still alive? I looked around for him and couldn't find him. It was when I looked near the grass by the tree line that I saw Jacob. He was still in his werewolf form but even from where I was I knew that he was gone. I got up and ran to where Jake layed and dropped to my knees. Even though I knew that he was to heavy I tired to put his head in my lap. The tears began to fall again and this time they felt like they wouldn't ever stop. I didn't want to leave him but Edward had been trying to pull me away from him. I leaned down to Jake and kissed him on the nose one last time.
"I Love You Jacob," I whispered softly in his ear.

I woke up startled to find myself alone.

~!Where do I begin!~

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 03:58:42 GMT

Well lets see today has been okay I'm mean I wasn't in that great of a mood during school but after school I started to feel a little better...Well after school I went to hoptown with my sister and my mom and we went shopping at the mall I got 3 shirts, a neckalace, a uk barcelet, and a pair of shoes lol so yea it never fails when you are in a crappy mood about things that shopping will always make you feel better.

So many things that I have running through my head and it's like is it ever going to end I think NOT!!! Well I am stressing out about prom I don't know why really because it's only three months away but I still don't have a dress and to top it off I don't even have a date and I really don't wanna go if I don't have a date...and yes to everyone who wants to know I have asked someone to go but even though he didn't really say yes I guess it's all cool even though I think that I'm not going to have as much fun going by myself then I would with him but I understand his decision and respect that...I'd perfer a date because all my friends have one and I really don't want to hang around them their because if I do I'll start to feel like a third wheel no matter how much they say I won't.

I might be going to the movies saturday with Jeri lyn and all of them because it's her birthday and we are suppose to go and watch Boogeyman so that sounds like fun but we aren't sure yet because something might come up but I hope not because the last time we all went out it was a lot of fun and I think that it will be cool to do it again. I love all you guys ya'll are so much fun to hang out with I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

Well I guess that's all I'm going to say for today I'm out and I'll talk to you guys later. Buh Bye

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!I don't know what I would have done!~

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 04:09:54 GMT

Well I haven't done to much today really so I'll try not to bore you to much with everything that I have done today. Well first off my mom had to work today and after she got off at four I got ready and me, mom, and dad were going to go to wal-mart then we got out to montgomery then all of a sudden the blinker came on and dad was like I'm going to eat before I go anywhere so we went and ate at Craker Barrel.

Then we went to wal-mart afterwards and we got grocerys and I got a new cd player with some of my birthday money because my little kitten chewed up my head phones cord up then I bought another book by Linda Leal Miller she is my favorite author the book is called Yankee Wife.

Well that's all that I can say now because my brother wants on so I'm out later.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!What a long day!~

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 03:12:03 GMT

~!*Hey sorry that I haven't updated in awhile I have been to lazy to do it or I just didn't really have much to say like usual...Well what have I done today besides sit in a car for 31/2 hours with my mom and dad...I had to go to Lexington for a doctor's appointment it was just a check up so the news I got was good I don't have to go back for another 2 years...All the people that worked up there including my doctor was asking what I planned on doing after I graduated and I really hadn't thought about it much and they told me that I needed to start think about it because it was that far away...and I just sat there for a moment and I was like man it isn't that far away and I'm like I'm not ready to graduate and yet at the smae time I am.

Well I guess that's all that I'm going to say for now...I'm tried so I think that I'm going to go to bed later.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!I'm in a good mood...YAY!!!!!~

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 22:42:02 GMT

Hey! Well anyways I was doing really good about updating this there for while but then over the weekend the site was down so I was able to post anything so that's why I'm doing it now before I have to leave and go to the game...Well anyways last night Tiffany and I were looking at prom dresses and well I hadn't found yet but as I kept looking I found the one that I'm getting and since it's really pretty I thought that I would just let everyone see what it's going to look like... http://www.jovaniprom.com/detail.php?col=prom&seq=165... Well anyways there is the link to the site if you want to see it I would really like if you left a comment to tell me what you think about the dress...It was funny last night when I showed it to Tiffany she was like wow I can see you in something like that to and I was yea now can you see a date next to me and she said yea actually I do lol :P Tiffany I love you girl don't know what I'd do without you.

Well after 5th period was over Hilary came over and she was telling about her little kitten that she is trying to give away and then she was telling me about if she can't give it to anyone she would have to take it to the pound and I was like aww....right when she said that though my mom walked into the band room and I was like go tell my mom that you want to give me the kitten for my birthday and so she tells mom about it and mom actually says yes and she said that we would just have to tell dad that it cam up to the house so i'm really excited that i'm going to get it...The little kitten is is yellow and as mom likes to call them "puff daddy" aka her little yellow cat she had when she was little lol...But yea that right there just made my day competely so i'm all hyper now...I can't wait to go to the game because I am doing pep band tonight and I get to see cheesecake again lol :P so yeah that make my day even more.

Well I'm going to get off here so I can go and get ready for the game I'll try and post something after the game if I'm not to tired when I get home.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Just when I thought everything was going good!~

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 04:50:34 GMT

Well what can I say I have been in a really good mood slash hyper mood to lol... I had to much chocolate earlier but that's okay because supposedly chocolate is good for you now lol...Well after school went to Sonic to eat because mom had to go to work so I had to eat there...I was at home all day by myself after I got home to because my brother and his girlfriend went to watch UK play Verderbuilt at Lexington they are bringing me back a sovernier too lol...I watched the game with my dad so that was cool.

Gosh you know I feel so stupid sometimes...It's like why do ask the questions that I know that I really don't want to hear the answer to because I know that it's going to be something that going to upset me especially if it comes from the person that I really happen to like to...You'd think that I'd learn after the first time it happened to me...Well anyways I guess I should explain myself...Well I was talking to Cheesecake (code name for the guy I like)and yea I asked him the question do you like anybody and he said yea and I was okay that's cool and I won't ask who because it's none of my business...then later on I asked if she was in his grade and he said yea and that's when my mood just dropped all the way to 0 actally below 0 if possible...But I tell you what I told Tiffany...I would do everything in this world to make sure that he was happy and if that meant that he liked someone else then that's fine because that's how much I care for him and yet I just wish that I could tell him all this but it's so hard to explain..but yet so easy to say it here but trying to say it to him wil be hard because I care for him so much and I don't want to mess up a good friendship with him...No matter what I'm going to try and stay positive about the whole situation tomorrow and try not to cry when I see him tomorrow...Cheesecake if you ever read this well I guess it kinda explains everything I hope that nothing changes between us really I truly mean that.

Well I'm going to head out here I'm tired and want to go to bed now...Later Everyone.

~!*Love Ya, Shortckae*!~

~!I need to stop thinking so negative about things!~

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 04:31:03 GMT

Okay were to I start okay well I just got home from the basketball game...It was the best game of the whole season I think...Even though we didn't win you guys played you best...Well anyways I don't think that I'll be able to talk when I get to school tomorrow because I think that I yelled so hard I think that I'm gonna lose my voice my mom has already been making fun of me on the way home because I sound really funny:P.

Well anyways I'm in a really good mood slash sad mood but I'm okay for now well anyways I'm going to go for now...I have say though this is me shortest entry ever.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Life couldn't be any better right now!~

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 04:08:31 GMT

Well lets just say I think that I'm slowly starting to feel better about everything and I have to say that I owe it all to a few people but they know who they are so I really don't think that I have to mention who they are. Actually I owe it all to one person but then again I couldn't of done it without my tow bestest friends in the whole wide world lol I love you guys.

I have been in a really good mood all day...and I told myself this morning that I wasn't going to have anything bring it down and nothing did so that was all good. I haven't done to much today I went to Murray this afternoon and when we got there we picked up my sister from the apartment and then we went to Wal-Mart and I got the Rascal Flatts cd and mom bought the movie Open Water on dvd it sucked horribly so I wouldn't watch it in my opinion...I also bought some stuff for my hair it suppose to keep it straight so can't wait to try that out...then after that we took her back to the apartment...and then I feel asleep on the way home listening to my cd. I kept waking up here and there with mom's bad driving lol... Well that's all for today later.

~!*Love Ya Shortcake*!~

~!I don't know what else to do anymore!~

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 03:07:42 GMT

Well I haven't done to much today...I was really hoping to get out and go somewhere but like usual I was stuck at home...I think getting out of the house will help me a little...it'll help me to keep my mind off of things for awhile. I'm going to Murray tomorrow after school so while we are there I'm going to find something to get Kari for her birthday even though she hasn't told me anything that she wants I'm still going to try and find something good so Kari I hope you like what ever you get lol Love Ya Girl.

Like I said I really haven't done to much today...I kinda got up real late today because I have felt sick all day so I just lounged around the house lol...I watched Princess Daires 2 when I got up because there wasn't nothing on tv...I got mom to watch it with me it was difficult to get her to watch it with me because she didn't want to watch it because she thought that she wasn't going to like it but she ended up watching it with me and of course like usual she loved the movie and cried during the movie to...then after that was over I got her to watch Brother Bear with me and yes she cried during that movie to lol...So I guess that you can say that today was movie day for me really lol but it was fun anyways.

Here are are some Lryics that I like and kinda relate to right about night so hope you enjoy.

Simple Plan
"Welcome to my Life"

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Well I'm out I'll post again tomorrow. Gotta finish the rest of my homework lol:P.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!For a change can something ever happen to go my way!~

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 05:59:15 GMT

Hey Guys! I have kinda been in a crappy mood the past month and I really hate it because it's like is it ever going to go away I think not. Well anyways that's why I haven't posted in awhile because I never have been in the mood to do it so here I am doing it right now don't know why because I'm fixing to pass out and go to sleep but I have got to get this done lol.

Well I really don't know where to start I guess why I have been in a crappy mood is a good place to start...You know I always told myself that I was never gonna let the little things get to me because they aren't worth it but I can't help they still find a way to get to me and it's been upseting me a lot lately...I've never felt this way before but right now I can't stand some of my friends and I know that sounds really horrible to say to but that's just how I feel...It just that I'm tired of coming to school everyday just to hear them tell me all there stories about how they had so much fun at this person house or how they had this person over to there house...Sorry that I had to get off last night without finishing this but my brother came home and he wanted on so I'm going to finish it right now...okay where did I leave off oh yea I know...I mean it's nice to hear there stories in all because a lot of the times they are really funny but yet at the same time these are my so called "FRIENDS" and I always thought that friends do things together...It's like ever since I knew them I have always had them over for parties or just to have them over like friends do...but why do I do that I seem to never get the same in return and it really hurts to think that none of my friends appreciate everything I do for them...God knows that I appreciate them because they have done so much for me except for one person in particular I think that has used me sometimes but I honestly think that she hates me now because she never really talks to me anymore oh yea that's right that must happen when people get a boyfriend they just decide to dump the rest of there friends...Oh and to top it off what makes me really mad is when people use my mom as a reason not to invite me hummm...sounds funny doesn't and I think that person knows who she is...When someone is inviting me somewhere don't you dare tell them that my mom will say no because you don't know my mom appearently...yea she might not let me go places at times but it's only because I have either have to do something wtih my brother or my sister or I have no way of getting there...Oh yea I almost forgot it really sucks to know that no one even cares when you at school but when you are gone for just one day it funny how they just floc around you to fin out what was wrong...There is so much more that I could say about this but I have prabably have everyone tired of reading of my sob stories.

Well anyways last night was homcomming didn't have a date like usual but that didn't bother me any because I knew that I wasn't going to have one...Well I thought that I'd have more fun at this game then I did at the last one but come to find out it was actually worst if you can believe that is possible...It was all good until about midway through the third quarter when I looked over to my right and saw the guy that I like with his date to homecomming I guess that was his date I mean they were sitting together and she did have a corsage so I just put things together...I should of known better though I have never even talk to this person and I still like him I guess that it's kinda hard to explain but yea when I saw that I wanted to break down and cry but I didn't because I was doing pep band and I didn't want everyone to know that I was upset so I held it together...Like I have said for a change can ANYTHING ever go MY WAY and sonething good ever come out of it...I guess this answer it I guess nothing ever goes the way that you want.

Well I'm out for now...probably going to get off here and watch Troy again for the second time it's a really good movie and it's even better if you like history to...So later might write something else later.

~!*Love Ya, Shortcake*!~

Wed, 29 Dec 2004 05:41:24 GMT

Well today has been an okay day...It was a good day at first but as the day went on it just kinda got worse lol. Well I woke up around 10:30 because my brother girlfriend so it was good that she came over that early because I needed to go on and get up that was the earliest that I have woke up the whole break...Then after they left I had to get ready because mom had to go and clean this on woman house which took forever we were over there by 12:00 and we didn't leave until 4:30 and with them having to little girls I thought that it was going to be horrible because I just knew that they would want to paly games all day but actually they didn't play any games they showed everything they got for Christmas...then after that they both got portable dvd players and a bunch of dvd's so we watched Two Brothers which is a very very good movie at least in my opinion it was a good movie...then after that we watched Princess Diaries 2 which I had already seen it because I got it for Christmas which it is a really good movie to. When we got home my dad got in right behind us so when he came in I asked him if he wanted to get sometihng to get and he said yeah so me, mom and dad went and ate at the Mexican Resturant so that was all good lol...Then came home and got on the computer and tried to download everything for my camera onto my computer but it never worked so that was gay. Well here's a little poem hope you all like it.

--hurts so bad--
we started out as friends but then we became best friends..don't get me wrong, it's great we're best friends but it hurts so bad when one falls for the other, but the other isn't there to catch you. he made me cry a few times, and i don't want to ever cry over a boy, but to be so close to him, is the greatest, to find out everything that ever happened meant everything to you, but nothing to him hurts so bad. to find out he has his eye on another girl hurts so bad. i always thought no girl ever deserves that kinda pain..i just want that love that all my friends have, someone to hold, kiss, hug, be with when you need someone, but i'm always the friend, never the girl..god it hurts so bad.

Well i'm out for tonight talk to you later...try an post tomorrow.

~!*Love Ya Strawberry Shortcake*!~

~!Survey!~

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 23:44:22 GMT

Well anyways I really don't have much to say so I thought that I'd just do a survey so here it is...I might post again later on tonight.

A is for - Age: 16 untilonly for 30 more days

B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No

C is for - Career in Future: Vet

D is for - Dad's name: Ronnie

E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: FOOD!

F is for - Favorite song at the moment: Behind These Hazel Eyes -Kelly Clarkson

G is for - Guy/Girls you've kissed: 0

H is for - Hometown: Cadiz

I is for - Instrument you play: Clarinet

J is for - Job title: None

K is for - Kids: None at the moment

L is for - Living arrangement: With my parents, brother and sister

M is for - Mom's name: Lois

N is for - Number on the back of your jersey: don’t have a jersey

O is for - Overnight hospital stays: 8 maybe more

P is for - Phobia[s]: Tornados

Q is for - Quote you like: *A girl asked a guy if she was pretty, he said no. She asked him if he wanted her, he said no. She asked him if she left would he cry, he said no. She turned to leave, he grabbed her arm and said..you're not pretty; you're beautiful. And I don't want you; I need you. And I wouldn't cry if you left; I would die*

R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: Haven't had one yet

S is for - Sexual position: I wouldn’t know.

T is for - Time you wake up everyday: 5:00 on school days

U is for - Unique trait(s): Don't know if I have one

V is for - Vegetable you love: mashed taters lol:P

W is for - Worst habit: biting my nails..

X is for - X-rays you've had: To many to count

Y is for - Yummy food you make: Cheesecake

Z is for - Zodiac sign: Aquarius

LAST PERSON WHO...
x. Slept in your bed: Me… but other than me..My sister
x. Saw you cry: My mom
x. Made you cry: Colby and some other things.
x. Spent the night with: Kari
x. You shared a drink with: ummm...no one that I can remember
x. You went to the movies with: My brother and his girlfriend
x. You went to the mall with: Mom and Sara
x. Sent you an email: Jeremy
x. You kissed: no one

HAVE YOU EVER...
x. Said "I Love You" and meant it: Well..to my family…
x. Been to New York: no but I really want to go
x. Florida: yep…
x. California: no
x. Hawaii: no
x. Mexico: no, my brother has though
x. China: no
x. Canada: no
x. Danced naked: nope
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: nope
x. Wish you were the opposite sex: I like being a girl but sometimes guys just seem to have it so easy

RANDOM
x. Red or blue: Blue
x. Spring or Fall: Fall
x. Last time you went out of the state: Chicago that's tells you how long ago.
x. Do you have a crush on someone: Yup
x. What book are you reading now: None atm but every now and then I'll read the bible
x. What is the first thing you think when you wake up: Why didn’t I go to bed earlier last night?
x. How many rings before you answer: Usually I never answer it because it's never anyone calling for me lol.
x. Future daughter's name: Hannah
x. Future son's name: Trevor
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Every now and then
x. If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be: I’d be something that made millions...lol who wouldn’t
x. Are you a lefty, righty or ambidextrous: Righty
x. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: but whatever it is, it works well enough for me
x. What's under your bed: A bunch of junk that I need to clean
x. College plans: MSU or UK not sure which one yet
x. Piercings: 1 on each ear
x. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No

EXTRA STUFF
x. Do you do drugs: nope
x. Do you drink: nope
x. Who is your best friend: Kari and Tiffany
x. What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use: Pantene ProV
x. What are you most scared of: Tornado don’t ask why just am
x. What clothes do you sleep in: T shirts
x. Who is the last person who called you: I don’t remember
x. Where do you want to get married: anywhere really
x. Favorite number: 17
x. What type automobile do you drive: Nothing, but I hope to get a Volkswagen Beetle.
x. Are you timely or always late: Usually timely
x. Do you have a job: no need one though
x. Do you like being around people: always
x. Best feeling in the world: Liking someone who has mutual feelings..
x. Are you a health freak: heck no.

STUFF
x. Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: yeah haven’t we all...just with me it seems like all the time though.
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: oh yes….who hasn’t
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: No not really
x. Are you lonely right now: Pretty much..
x. Ever afraid you'll never get married: No
x. Ever want kids?: Yeah

FAVORITE
x. Room in house: My room
x. Type(s) of music: Country and R&B
x. Band: Rascal Flatts
x. Memory: To many to put down here put I’d have to say all the memories that me and my friends have shared together.
x. Day of the week: Friday or Saturday
x. Color: Baby Blue
x. Perfume or cologne: Ralph

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
x. Cried: no
x. Bought something: yea
x. Gotten sick: No
x. Sung: yeah
x. Said "I Love You": I don’t think...
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: Yeah...
x. Met someone new: Yeah
x. Moved on: move on from what?
x. Missed someone: yeah
x. Hugged someone: No
x. Kissed someone: nope
x. Fought with your parents: No
x. Dreamt about someone you can't be with: Yeah....
x. Had a lot of sleep: Yea

HAVE YOU EVER...
x.been drunk -no
x.smoked pot - no
x.kissed a member of the opposite sex - no
x.kissed a member of the same sex – no
x.crashed a friend's car - no
x.ridden in a taxi - no
x.had anal sex - no
x.been in love – not quite
x.had sex in public - no
x.been dumped - no
x.shoplifted - no
x.been fired - no
x.been in a fist fight – with my brother but we were just playing around lol
x.had a threesome - no
x.been tied up (sexually) - no
x.pissed on myself- yep..
x.had sex with a member of the same sex - no
x.been arrested -no
x.made out with a stranger -no
x.lied to a friend - yeah
x.had a crush on a teacher - no
x.been to europe - no
x.skipped school - yeah
x.slept with a co-worker - no
x.had sex at the office - no
x.been married - no
x.had children - nope
x.stripped at a party - no
x.literally crawled to your house drunk, even if just from across the street – no
x.jumped off a bridge – I don’t think so..
x.gone surfing - nope
x.skinny dipped - nope

~!Wow really really hyper!~

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 05:35:18 GMT

Hey! Well sorry that I haven't updated in awhile but these past few weeks have been so horrible so I have been out of wack so I'm sorry...Well I have a lot of things to say so listen up lol :D.

Well where should I start off okay I know where I know that this is really old but like I have said a bad two weeks so yea...Well anyways I know that all you guys have heard about Colby and really sad that he's gone because he hung out with us during lunch and we were just becoming good friends but that's okay because we all know he's in a better place now where he has no problems...Well anyways this has been a good week though lol besides having to study for finals eww :( wednesday was fun during fifth period because Mr. B and Mr. M weren't here so we goofed off we took our final in there that day instead of today like everyone else did. Well thursday in band they weren't there again so me and Hilary played with her nerf ball all class period is was so much fun plus me, lyn, and Hil cleaned the music room to lol suck ups...Today was so much fun first off in first period we watched this little thing on Mr. Lee's computer so in order fo us all to see some of us had to sit on the table well I was just going to stand up but Emily pulls me up on the table and then tiff stands in front of me so it was nice to have all my friends around me lol...Then after that we watched Lion King which was funny because I was singing all the songs lol...Had a exam second period but had a little party while we took it too...Then tonight me, mom, and dad went to Cracker Barrel to eat and when me and dad were walking back to the car and I look over to my right and just about screamed out loud because there was big poodle walking towards me amd well it being night time and the dog being black in scared the living daylights out of me and all my dad did was sit there and laugh at me lol :D... Well I guess that's all i'm going to say for tonight i'm tired so I might just go to bed lol...Well later and good night everyone.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Nothing ever seems to work out do they!~

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 03:41:08 GMT

Hey! Well I haven't been up to much lately bored as usual what new about that lol...Well I really don't know what to say I don't think that I have to much to say this time lol...Well I got a invatation to Kari's Christmas party that's next friday so yea I can't wait to go to that..it's going be me, Tiffany, Amanda R, Lindsey, Megan, Sarah, Kathy, Brittany, and Amanda H so yea I think that it's going to be fun. I have decided that I was going to do a Christmas party to but I don't think that mines is going to be until that last day we get out of school for the break pretty much the people that are going to Kari's party are the same ones coming to mine pretty much so yea.

I think that this week has been the worse/not so good of a week for me...I don't know why but it's just not been good...for one this is the most that I sat around in my room just thinking about a lot of things going on that I wish that I could just let out but I can't because I don't want to loose anybody but yet at the same time I think that it will make me feel better to just let it all out...and it sucks because I like someone yet at the same time my best friend likes him and yea he likes her to I believe he does but I have liked him for so long and yea so has she...And well it sucks because I can't tell him how I really feel because I know he likes her plus I don't think that he cares what I think and what makes it worse is that the girl is my best friend so either way it doesn't really matter because I'm going to be hurt by the fact that I know I don't have a chance with him but yet at the same time I think that if I did have a chance that I could go out with him that I wouldn't because I couldn't do that to her knowing that she likes him because I wouldn't want to lose a best friend over a guy because pesonally I don't think that it's worth it...lol that's not even half of what I have been thinking about that's bearly touching the ice lol. Oh yea I do like this other guy to lol and I love talking to him because he just makes me feel special when I talk to him because he knows how to make me laugh and we have had some pretty fun times together but yet I don't know if him and his girlfriend still go out and yea so I don't guess anything is going to happen there either well now it's that just my luck...

Well anyways off that whole subject...well today I went to the Christmas Parade with my brother and his girlfriend we met at his girlfriend's sister house around 5 and sat there for a few minutes and then we left and we all got something to eat at Farrels then we went and parked and we sat in the van and eat until it was time to get out...We got out as soon as we saw the cop cars comming and then Johnathan and Nathan were grabbing all the candy so I let Johnathan put his in my hoddie pocket which was competely full after the Parade was over...After the parade was over we went back to their house and we played a game with the kids for awhile then we left now I'm wore out and tired so yea that's how my day has been today lol.

Here are some Lyrics that I wanted to post the other day but I couldn't find them so yea here they are.

Kelly Clarkson
Behind These Hazel Eyes

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything it felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong

Now I can’t breathe
No I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Here I am
Once again
I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it
Can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright for once in my life
Now all that’s left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside

Cause I can’t breathe
No I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Just seeing you it kills me now
No I don’t cry
On the outside anymore

Well I gotta go ~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Since u been gone I can't breathe for the first time!~

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 01:36:13 GMT

Hey! Well I was just bored and I thought before I got off to go and do my homework that I would post something lol. Like usual I'll try to post something short and sweet but I doubt if it will be to short or at least not as short as the last one. Well I'll tell you a little bit about my break.

Wednesday I really didn't do all that much went to Wal-Mart around 10:00 because we had to wait untilmy my got off work so we could go...While we were at wal-mart we saw Jared and Micheal and Carolyn there and I talked to jared for awhile because we were just waiting in line anyways and then after they left it was funny my dad was who do you hang out with and mom was like it's okay they cool after you get to know them lol it was funny you just had to be there for it to be funny lol...Thursday we just had some family over for Thanksgiving nothing biggie though then after they all left we got our Christmas stuff out of the attic and we put up our tree because we always do it after people leave on Thanksgiving...The tree lookis really good besides the fact that we don't have a star on it yet because I think that we have to get a new one lol...Friday I sat my lazy but at home all day I think...oh no wait me my brother and his girlfriend went to my grandfather's house and we put his tree up for him and sat out all his Christmas decorations...Saturday me, mom, and dad helped my sister move into her apartment with her best friend in Murray YAY!!!! No more sister in the house one down one to go lol (my brother)...Then sunday I didn't do anything either...well yea I did to I forgot that I went to my uncle's house and we had a little Thanksgiving cookout then...I got to see little katelyn for the first time she was so cute and she was so tiny to...I was like I want one of course not right now lol...lol that was my boring Thanksgiving break.

Well I was wanting to post some lyrics but the some just came out recently and well I can't find the lyrics yet but when I do I'll post them on here for ya...Well you know what I wish for I just wish that everbody could just get a long I'm tired of everbody fighting woth each other for some of the smallest things and I'm tired of being split in between because I can't just be on one side when they are both my friends...well anyways maybe that's just me....Well I gotta go talk to you later.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Since U Been Gone!~

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 05:06:14 GMT

Well I thought that I would post just a little because I am bored and have nothing else better to do...lol that's normal for me though to always be bored. Well what do you know I really don't have that much to say now that I started to write...Hey Kari if you are reading this I want you to know that I here for you if you ever need anything...I think that if you just give everything a little of time I think that everything will be okay...I'm sorry that it had to happen to you if anything I wish it was me so you wouldn't of had to worry about all of this well anyways I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you if you need anything you know where to find me lol :D.

Well I told ya that I didn't have to much to say...well I guess that I'm going to go on an get off here...I'll try and post something on here tomorrow depend on how long all our company is going to be over here but I'll try to post.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Holy Water!~

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 06:48:45 GMT

Well what can I say today has been a pretty good day...boring at the most but that's okay...Well I went to the Pageant and it was a lot of fun...I was suppose to sit with Kari and Tiff and they went on in while I paid to get in and well I walked into the little theater and I couldn't find them then I heard someone call my name and it was Tiffany so I go down the steps think that I could get to them that way because they were sitting on the left side of the little theater well come to find out I couldn't get to that side because the judges table was in my way....So Kari and Tiffany if your reading this I'm sorry :P I still love ya though.

I have to say that Hilary looked so pretty in that white dress it was amazing...I was really wanting her to make it into the top four but she didn't but in my book she did lol...The top four were Alana, this girl from Tennessee, Sara Tamble and Amanda Simmons...They were asked some really easy questions...I like Amanda question the best her question was What was one thing that has changed your life and she said that would be when she gave her life over to god and as soon as she said that the crowd got really loud and cheered for her...Fourth Place was the girl for Tennessee, third place was Alana Baker, second place was Sara Tramble, and FIST PLACE:AMANDA SIMMONS so why to go to all the people who were in it you all did very well in my eyes.

I'm going to post some lyrics up here because I haven't in awhile and I really like this song so I thought that I would.

"Holy Water"
By:Big and Rich

Somewhere there's a stolen halo
I use to watch her wear it well
Everything would shine wherever she would go
But looking at her now you'd never tell

Someone ran away with her innocence
A memory she can't get out of her head
I can only imagine what she's feeling
When she's praying
Kneeling at the edge of her bed

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water

She wants someone to call her angel
Someone to put the light back in her eyes
She's looking through the faces
The unfamiliar places
She needs someone to hear her when she crys

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water

She just needs a little help
To wash away the pain she's felt
She wants to feel the healing hands
Of someone who understands

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me
And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water

That's a really good song if you guys haven't ever heard it yet ya'll need to find it and listen to it because it's really good.

My cousin just had a baby friday it was a girl and they named it Katelyn Elizabeth we are going up their next sunday we are having a family get together at there house it's like a Thanksgiving get together so I can't wait to go and see her...*Note to self buy a camera before then*.

Okay well anyways I'm outta here I think that's all that I got to say...It's pretty late it's almost one I should go to bed but I think I'm going to go play some playstation or nintendo lol :P.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Today was actually a pretty good day!~

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 04:54:18 GMT

Hey! Well I know what your thinking why hasn't she posted in so long well I'm sorry kinda got wrapped up in other things and never got the chance to do anything with it...So I just want to say that I'm sorry that I have updated in awhile so here I am so I'll tell you a few things that has happened lately.

Well lol isn't this a bummer I was going to update my journal and now that I'm sitting here trying to think of what I have done I can't think of anything well isn't that just my luck lol:P...Well today was a good day because me and Kari had to go over to the middle school to work with Patricia and well we were having her spell out words for us and well we got to duck and she spelt it duke and well neither me or kari were paying attention to how she splet and we said yes that's right then I pulled out the card and I was like kari it was suppose to be duck and we all three just died out laughing for five minutes I'm surprised that we didn't get in trouble for being so loud in the library.

Then friday I went to the game at Owensboro Catholic....it was a really good game but in my opinion I think we should of won because the refs were calling really bad plays against us and we could all tell that they were for owensboro...To the whole football team it doesn't matter that you guys lost all that matters is that you did your best all season and keep that up for next season...Go Cats.

Well I have to say I think that this may be my shortest entry of all time lol well I'm gonna go I'll post again later.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Welcome to my life!~

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 01:00:50 GMT

Hey! Well what can I say I know that I haven't updated in awhile...so here I am I plan on updating you all the way up to today I'll try not to bore you with everything well I'll start with last saturday.

Last Thursday: We had to get up at 7:00 because we had band practice from 8 to 4...it actually went really good it was just to long a we were outside the whole time which was okay because it was kinda cold but not that much.

Last Friday: We had practice again from 8 to 12 only this time and it went by pretty fast to which was good because we were all really wanting to go to the Ham Fest...Mr. Mroch actually wanted us to all go because he thought that it would be good for us....so most of us ended up going and stayed their until the football game that night..the game went really well for us to it was pretty cold but we lived through it.

Last Saturday: The Marching Band went to Owensboro for finals...had to compete with 21 other bands in class A....in order to go to state we had to get in the top eight and we done it we were sixth place out of eight we scored a 85 which is really good and I think that they really deserved it because the worked so hard for it...So now next saturday we are going to Franklin Simpson for state You guys have deserved to go you have worked so hard to get where you are now and that's good.

Tuesday: I didn't go to school because I really wasn't feeling good...I wanted to go to practice but mom wouldn't let me...appearently practice was really good until Mr. Mroch left them for an hour to practice on their own...then when he came back to do a run through appearently that was the best run through all season because he said that if they were being judge they probably would of gotten a 90 or better.

Thursday: Today we had practice from 3:15 to 6 and we also had a public rehersal since it was the last practice for the season *tear* I'm gonna miss all the seniors...EMILY,CAYLA,CAYLA D,ANDY,NICOLE.We had to practice in the rain what a way to finish the year off. Well I got to go talk to you later.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Hey, Man I'm so worn out today!~

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 21:59:18 GMT

Hey Guys! I was going to post this wednesday but I got caught up in some other stuff I didn't have time to do it...So here I am now writing in it hoping that I get it done before I have to go to the game and 5:30 so yea.

Last saturday we had a competition in Hopkinsville and it was the last competition where we could get our 80 in order to go to finals...we got it so tomorrow we are going to Owensboro for finals and their are going to be 22 class A bands there and in order to go to state you have to make top 8 and I think that we have a really good chance in making top 8 easy.

Then sunday was okay until Lyn had to get mad at me for the whole situation with Hilary because she thinks that it's not fair that I'm letting Hil off scout free...Well you know what Lyn if you are reading this well hun I never meant to offend you or hurt you in any way but look around she was the only one that was there to help me that day...And I can't ever seem to talk to you anymore because you have just changed and I can't say anything without you having to have Brittany around with you or you going off and telling her everything I say because I know that's what will happen...And you know what you can say that this isn't fair well you know what life's not always going to be fair no matter what you do that's why you got to learn to live it to the fullest with the way things are...I know that you are upset with me and go ahead be mad but I don't see where being mad at me is going to lead anywhere.

Well anyways wednesday I went shopping and I got some more stuff for my scrapbook which I could add more pictures in if Matt would ever give me back my pictures from Chicago lol gotta Love ya Matt. My sister bought her this really cute fabric that my grandmother going to make her some covers for her bed they are really pretty...

Yesterday I had practice from 8 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon it was really great but I wa wore out and then I had these two little that spent the night with us and I had to get up early this morning for practice from 8-12 and then I went to Ham fest after practice and now here I am...Well I got to go get ready for the game.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!This entry goes out to all my with an exception to only three,!~

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 21:38:51 GMT

Hey Everyone! What's up! Well there's not to much going on here. I just noticed last night that I haven't posted an entry for a whole month so I thought that I would post today and catch you up on everything that you have missed but I'll try not to make it to long lol.

Well my computer was messed up there for like the longest time and we just got it fixed wednesday which I was so happy because I was going to go crazy if I had to wait much longer. Band is going good to except we haven't gotten our 80 yet and we have to have that before we can go to finals and tomorrow is our last chance to get it so if we don't get it tomorrow then our season is over with for this year.

Well as you noticed I dedicated this entry to all my friends in exception to three and that's Hilary , Devin, and Jason...so if you three read this don't worry about it because it dosen't pertain to you but you can read it if you want.

Well I love all my friends to death but I have to the conclusion today that none of my friends feel the same way...I'm tired of always helping you guys with all your problems and personal things and not getting nothing back in return I feel like I'm being used by all of you guys and you don't know how much this hurts me.

I never noticed that until today I thought that I had so many friends that cared about me and cared enough about knowing that I can't really do a lot of things on my own and when you leave me high and dry to let me do things on my own then forget it...It didn't really hit me until today that no one even cares to help me and I know ya'll are all wondering what you did and well I have an example don't worry...Like for example today at the pep rally no one cares enough to help me over to the gym and so I have to struggle my way over their by myself...then to top it off no one even cares to help me back to the band room except for Hilary(girl I love ya and I don't know what i'd do without you this year). I know what a lot of you are thinking to well she could atleast tell someone when she needs help well I don't think it's my place considering that you already know that I can't get up stairs by myself...So yea to my so called friends I don't even want to talk to you right now and I really don't mean to sound so mean but I'm still really hurt by what you did to me.

Well that's all i'm going to post for now...I might post some more after the game tonight...Tonight is homecomming...BEAT THE PIRATES-GO CATS

~!Hey!~

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 02:37:01 GMT

Hey Everyone! Yea I know what you are thinking why I haven't posted in awhile...well that would be because everytime that I would think of it I would forget or I'd end up doing something else...and after school i'm tired because I have band after school.

Well not to much has happened in the time that I haven't wrote...So I'll try not to bore you with to much lol...Well Friday wasn't a good day I mean I was all happy when I go to school but then their were a few people that had to put their two cents in about our band shirts and it's pretty said that it had to be two other band members that said something about them but that's okay because I was better by the end of the day anyway...Then I had practice after school friday to get ready for the game and practice went really good to even tho it was really hott outside but Mr. Burchitt made a good point he told me to just think of it like it was cold outside lol...Then after practice we went inside for a hour and we ate pizza and we just chilled out until it was time to get ready for the game...Then at seven we headed down to the field because we had to play the Star Spangled Banner...Then time went by really fast and it was already time for them to perform at half-time and it went really good I think...there are still a lot of things that need to be worked on in the next two weeks because our first competition is on September 11 which I think is really weird but maybe that's just me lol...Then after the game I was so tired I went straight to bed when I got home.

Then saturday I had to get up at 6 because I had to get ready for band because we were having our pictures taken for the calendars and we had our memory mates taken after that...I can't wait to get our memory mates back because I didn't want to get my picture taken by myself so we got the whole click together it was Hilary, Me, Alana, Emily, Lindsey, and Tiffany and I'm excited to get them back because they were really good...At least it didn't rain on us this year even though it looked like it wanted to.

I really haven't done to much today though me and my mom went to eat at the Mexican Restaurant though I love that place even though my mom hate it...But that's about all I have done today...Well I guess that's all I have to say and I'll try to post something up for tomorrow if I can.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Hey!~

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 02:34:53 GMT

Hey Everyone! Sorry that I haven't posted in like two or three weeks I have been so busy doing other things and when I think about posting I usually already busy doing something else but I decided that I would post today no matter what.

Well we will start with not last weekend but the one before that...That saturday I went to the movies with my mom because my sister was out with her friends and my dad was in St.Louis and my brother was at a wedding...So me and mom thought that we would go see a movie so we went to Murray and we watched The Bourne Supremacy. On Sunday my brother and his girlfriend took me to clarksville to the movies and we watched Spider-Man2 which was a really good movie to but I have to say out of the two movies I like The Bourne Supremacy better lol.

Then that week I had band from 7:15 to 4:00 and that's another reason I hadn't got to post in awhile because I have been to tired from band to...But we know the whole show now and we just have to keep working on it to clean it up so we can good at it...That thursday we went to Murray for the DCI show and it was so awesome I had alot of fun better then the past two years I went...When we got their we saw Mrs. Shelby and then half the band was split up form the rest of the band because there were no seats left near them...Then their was this one band that had a lot of guard members they even had some guys their was these two guy guard members from that band that when they smiled you could see thier teeth from the stands it was so funny *Pearly Whites* lol LMAO.

This week we only had practice Monday because Mr. Mroch had to do in-service for school so we couldn't practice...So after practice me and my mom met my sister and dad at Cracker Barrel...Then on Tuesday we went to pick of my schedule for school here are my classes:

First Semester
1st. Mr Lee-Chemistry
2nd. Mrs. Woody-Spanish lll
3rd. Mrs. Dunn-Algebra 2
4th. Mrs. McKinney-English
5th. Band-Mr.Mroch and Mr.Burchett
Second Semester
1st. Coach Embrey-U.S History
2nd. Mrs. McKinney-Arts and Humanties
3rd. Mrs. Dunn-Algebra 2
4th. Mrs. McKinney-English
5th. Band-Mr.Mroch and Mr.Burchett

I'm so glad that I got Embrey instead of Mrs. Kranz because she is really strict and you will take a lot of notes during that class...Thursday I was up at 6 in the morning because I had to stay at home by myself because my mom had to go into work so I thought that I'd go on and get up so I can get use to it for school...Then Sara called and asked me if I wanted to go with her and the girls to eat at Cracker Barrel so I did...Then I got home and when my sis got off work I wet with her to pick up her check and then I came back home at six because me and my mom had to go to hoptown because my grandmother was going to buy me some jeans and I got two pairs Their is this one pair that are really dirty looking and then I got these pink corduroy jeans they are so cute to...Then after that I was home for a few hours and my sis was in eddyville with her friends out eating so I just got on the computer for awhile...She came home around 11 and she didn't feel like staying home so me and her went to Wal-Mart just for the heck of it and I really don't know why I went I thought maybe to keep her company but instead I had to keep myself company because she was on her cell phone half way up their and the whole time we were in Wal-Mart...She bought 2 DVD'S Hildago and Cold Mountain and she bought me a cd...We didn't get home from Wal-Mart until like 1 something and we started to watch Hildago and I didn't make it all the way through it so I finished it today it's a really good movie and it's based on a true story.

I'm gonna do a Lyrics for the day today because I'm bored lol...
I love this song because I can relate to it in a most of it...I have been thinking about alot of stuff lately and when I heard this song it was like man I can relate to this in some way so I wanted to put it on here.
Undiscovered
By: Ashlee Simpson
Take it back, take it all back now
The things I gave, like the taste of my kiss on you lips.
I miss that now
I can't any harder than I do
All the reasons I gave, excuse I made for you
I'm borken in two.

All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the thing left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you
Don't walk away
Touch me now how I wanna feel something so real
Please remind me my love
Take me back
'Cause I'm so in in love with what we were
I'm not breathing, I'm suffocating without you
Do you feel it too?

When i'm in the dark and all alone
Dreaming that you will walk right through my door
It's there I know my heart is whole
There's a million reasons why I cry
Hold the covers tight and close my eyes
'Cause I don't want to be alone

'Cause I can't fake and I can't hate
But it's my heart that's about to break
You're all I need I'm on my knees
Watch me bleed, would you listen please
I give in I breathe out, I want you
There's no doubt
I freak out, I'm left out, without you
I'm without
I cross out, I can't doubt, I cry out, I reach out
Don't walk away, don't walk away, don't walk away, don't walk away.

Well I guess that's all I have to say I think that this is enough to make up for the two weeks that I missed lol...Well I'm out talk to ya'll later.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Hey you Guys!~

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 03:02:38 GMT

Hey Everyone! Well sorry for not updating in a week I have either not been home to do it or just didn't have anything to post lol like usual.

Well anyways Band Camp started monday and it's going really good and tomorrow will only be the fourth day and we have learned the music to the whole first movement and we have learned the music to the second movement to...we haven't gotten the music for the third movement yet but they said that it sounds like Jazz meets Black Sabbath so yea we are all excited about the show this year because our music is really cool this year...

Our show is called "Playland" this year because it's about kids and games that kids play...For example in the first movement of our show you will notice that we are playing twinkle twinkle little star and at the end of that the guard is going act like they are going to sleep and then they wake up to us playing "Ring around the Rosie" and it's kinda like jazz ring around the rosie...When we start playing ring around the rosie that starts the second movement.

The guard is going to be some cool stuff this year to I'm not for sure if they are going to be doing this but I think that they are...They are going to be playing with balls sometime during the show and of course they are going to be playing ring around the rosie to and that's all that I know that they are going to be doing as of right now.

Well all we are doing this week is learning the music...we go in at 8:00 in the morning and we don't get done until 4:00 so it'a a eight hour day but that's okay because in the end it's all worth it...Next week will be when we are outside the whole day...But it won't be that bad because that's means we are just another step closer to getting our show done.

Well I have to say it's kinda weird without Mr. Baker but I guess it's just because we are so use to him more them we are Mr. Mroch...but I have to say I like Mr. Mroch better...They did get him a assistant band director his name is Mr. Bruchchitt he is really cool to...He just got married a few days before camp started.

Well I guess that I'm going to get on off her...I'll probably post again tomorrow when I get home from practice.

~!*Love Ya*!~

~!Survey!~

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 04:49:56 GMT

BASIC STUFF~*

NAME: Ashley Ann

AGE: 16!

BIRTHDAY: January 20, 1988

GRADE: 11th

SCHOOL: Trigg County High

EYE COLOR: Brown

ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn

HEIGHT: 5'0

HAIR COLOR: Brown with blonde highlights

*~THIS OR THAT~*

PEPSI OR COKE: Pepsi

DR. PEPPER OR ROOT BEER: Dr. Pepper

E-MAIL OR SNAIL MAIL: email is faster... but hand written letters are cool to.

MALL OR MOVIE: Movie...never have money for the mall lol

DARK CHOCOLATE OR LIGHT CHOCOLATE: Dark Chocolate

REGULAR OR FRENCH KISS: Never been kissed so can't answer

CD OR RADIO: Radio...

CAT OR DOG: dog

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Chocolate

(THEIR ACTORS)JOSH HARTNETT OR RYAN PHILLIPEE: Josh Hartnett

SCARY OR COMEDY(MOVIE): depends on who u r with... scary movie with a guy comedy with friends =p

BLOODY OR JUMPY(MOVIE): both I think make a good movie

BASKETBALL OR SOCCER: Basketball...

LOVE OR LUST: Love...

FRITOS OR DORITOS: Dortios-- less calories

(MOVIES)THE OTHERS OR AMERICAN PIE 2: The Others

WATERBED OR PLAIN MATTRESS: lol waterbed's are awesome!

CAR OR PLANE: car...

COMPUTER OR T.V.: hmmm i guess i'd have to choose computer...

*~FOR GIRLS TO TAKE ON BOYS~*

SIX PACK OR STRONG ARMS: hmmm... i don't know

SHORT OR LONG(HAIR): definitely short

FUNNY OR SMART: that's difficult cuz they need to be smart and fun to be around

PLAYS FOOTBALL OR PLAYS BASEBALL: Football

HOTTIE OR CUTTIE(TRUST ME THERE DIFFERENT): cutie?

HAT BACKWARDS OR FORWARDS: backwards

TOUGH OR SENSITIVE: Either...I think both is a good quality

BOXERS OR BREIFS: boxers

YOUNGER OR OLDER THAN YOU: older but not to much older

SHORTER OR TALLER: taller...

TAN OR BEIGE: Tan i guess

*~LOVE LIFE~*

DO YOU HAVE A B/F? Nope and proud to say it lol kinda

IF SO, WHO? Like I said I don't have one...

DO YOU LOVE HIM OR JUST LIKE HIM? Neither

DO U HAVE A CRUSH ON ANY BODY? Yea...lol it's not who all of you guys think it is though

HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN FRECH KISSED? nope

HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KISSED? nope...

IF SO, BY WHO? n/a

WHY DO YOU LIKE YOUR CRUSH? He's sweet... and I love his parents they are so nice to me lol...and he's got a great personality

WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON YOU LOVED? Never really loved anyone I have just liked a few people

*~ABOUT FRIENDS~*

*WHO OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS IS THE:

LOUDEST? Hmmm... we ALL are loud when put together

QUIETEST? Probably me a lot of my friends have been say that lately lol

MOST OUT-GOING? Alana

WEIRDEST? lol that kinda is all of us

BLONDEST? Hil...

TOUGHEST? Probably Brittney...

MOST TRUSTING? Hard question... I would most definitely I have to say Lyn

LEAST TRUSTING? Don't really know this one for sure

STUPIDEST? haha we all have our OFF days

FUNNIEST? Amanda

*WHO HAS THE:

BEST CAR? lol Lyn she's the only one that has a car out of all of us

BEST HOUSE? Hilary

COOLEST ROOM? Hilary

NICEST PARENTS? lol I'd have to say my parents they are pretty cool at times.

WEIRDEST TASTE IN OPPOSITE SEX? lol Britt

MOST UNUSUAL IDEAS? Britt

MOST PERVERTEDEST(I DON'T EVEN THINK THAT'S A WORD BUT THAT'S OK) MIND? Britt!!!!

WEIRDEST TASTE IN MUSIC? Britt

WEIRDEST TASTE IN MOVIES? Ummm...not really for sure on this one

*WHAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING YOUR FRIENDS HAVE EVER DONE? lol hmm... we have so many funny things it's hard to give just ONE

WHAT IS THE STUPIDEST? lol ummm. It's kinda hard to name just one =)

*~FAVORITES~*

MOVIE? Hard question...I would have to say that I like the Lord of the Rings the best...

MUSIC? I'm not really for sure on this one because I like a lot of music...

STORE? Ummmm...another that I'm not for sure with

BRAND? I dunno

COLOR? Green

SONG? I dunno

ACTOR? Orlando Bloom

ACTRESS? I dunno their a a few

FOOD? Like to many things that's why I'm fat lol

NON-ALCHOLIC BEVERAGE? Lemonade

ALCHOLIC BEVERAGE? none

T.V. SHOW? CSI

TEACHER? Mrs. Furtrell

SUBJECT? Science

DAY OF WEEK? Friday

HOLIDAY? AND WHY? Christmas...

CD? Not for sure

COMPUTER GAME? not one

PLACE TO HANG? In town

RADIO STATION? 102.5, 101.1, 96.9, 100.3,

ANIMAL? puppy

BOY NAME? Trevor

GIRL NAME? Hannah

*~JUST QUESTIONS~*

IF YOU HAD TO BE STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND WHAT 5 THINGS WOULD YOU TAKE AND WHO WOULD YOU TAKE WITH YOU? I'm not for sure what I'd take with me...lol yea I know that it's sad...

IF YOU COULD MEET SOMEONE DEAD OR A LIVE WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY? Cleopatra...

IF YOU COULD BE INVISIBLE FOR A DAY WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Runaway... ?

IF YOU COULD MARRY ANY BODY WHO WOULD IT BE? I'm not for sure

IF YOU COULD BE A STAR IN ANY MOVIE WHAT WOULD IT BE? lol another on that I don't seems to know...but if I had to pick I'd be in a horror

IF YOU COULD MEET A STAR WHO WOULD IT BE? Don't know...

IF YOU COULD MOVE ANY WHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU MOVE? Probably the Bahamas

IF YOU COULD GO ON VACATION ANY WHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO? Egypt

IF YOUR MOM AND DAD LEFT YOU HOME ALONE FOR A WEEK WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
*smiles* what does everyone do when their parents are gone for a weel lol...

IF YOU COULD KISS ANY BODY WHO WOULD YOU KISS? Orlando Bloom who wouldn't....

*~SCHOOL~*

WHO IS THE CUTEST COUPLE: Em and Nate :)

WHO WOULD MAKE THE CUTEST COUPLE: hmmm...Kari and Matt

WHO IS THE KOOLEST PERSON: Me...lol don't worry I was only kidding...everyones cool in their on way.

DORKIEST: i dunno

FUNNIEST: lol Lyn

QUIETEST: Me? apparently

MOST OUTGOING: Hil

HOTTEST: um... dunno

NICEST: All my friend are nice they have done so much for me and they will never know how much they have truly have helped me... which i appreciate and love them for!!!!

Well Hey you guy! I was just bored and needed to give myself something to do so I hoped that you all enjoyed it lol...

~!*Love Ya*!~

ashie88

My first Fanfiction

~!*Where do I begin*!~

~!*I don't know what I would have done*!~

~!*What a long day*!~

~!*I'm in a good mood...YAY!!!!*!~

~!*Just when I thought everything was going good*!~

~!*I need to stop thinking so negative about things*!~

~!*Life couldn't be any better right now*!~

~!*I don't know what else to do anymore*!~

~!*For a change can something ever happen to go my way*!~

~!*Survey*!~

~!*Wow really really hyper*!~

~!*Nothing ever seems to work out do they*!~

~!*Since u been gone I can't breathe for the first time*!~

~!*Since U Been Gone*!~

~!*Holy Water*!~

~!*Today was actually a pretty good day*!~

~!*Welcome to my life*!~

~!*Hey, Man I'm so worn out today*!~

~!*This entry goes out to all my with an exception to only three,*!~

~!*Hey*!~

~!*Hey*!~

~!*Hey you Guys*!~

~!*Survey*!~

~!Where do I begin!~

~!I don't know what I would have done!~

~!What a long day!~

~!I'm in a good mood...YAY!!!!!~

~!Just when I thought everything was going good!~

~!I need to stop thinking so negative about things!~

~!Life couldn't be any better right now!~

~!I don't know what else to do anymore!~

~!For a change can something ever happen to go my way!~

~!Survey!~

~!Wow really really hyper!~

~!Nothing ever seems to work out do they!~

~!Since u been gone I can't breathe for the first time!~

~!Since U Been Gone!~

~!Holy Water!~

~!Today was actually a pretty good day!~

~!Welcome to my life!~

~!Hey, Man I'm so worn out today!~

~!This entry goes out to all my with an exception to only three,!~

~!Hey!~

~!Hey!~

~!Hey you Guys!~

~!Survey!~